Now that the government recognizes Global Warming (Thanks, Gore.), it’s officially here and it’s time for you to make a buck — no, megabucks off global warming. Call it Global Warming or Climate Change — doesn’t matter, it’s coming. What kind of new, unusual opportunities are out there for the little guy to cash in on? Here are a few suggestions:

Read more…

Bad Directions are indeed recipes made for disaster. You’re doing something, making something, repairing something, going somewhere, and you become confused, not completely lost, just confused, so you stop and ask for directions. Guess what? Duh! Nine times out of ten someone gives you the wrong directions or you give yourself the wrong directions. These kinds of directions are Bad Directions when used in recipes that make for disaster.

Read more…

Broke, busted? The kids are starving. And is your spouse cruising, on the hunt for a sugar daddy or else for a queen bee with lots of stored honey? Face the facts when you’re not worth a dime. You’re broke, busted! Down and out! You know it; your partner or spouse knows it, the kids know it, and the neighbors know it.

What can you do? Hara-kiri? Hell no! Then, what will you do? Well, you can go home again. It has been said that “home” is where they have to take you in when you go there.

Read more…

Who’s next?

Just imagine a world where …

She looked at the back cargo hold and counted the children. “If we must,” she said, “let it be Josh.”

“Let’s try for a hitchhiker instead,” he said. “R9 has always been good for hunting hitchhikers. If I can trap three hitchhikers, Josh can be saved for another trip.”

Read more…

Before you’re out of money, before there’s holes in your socks, before your and your loved ones’ stomachs rumble on empty, you may want to set up a local and personal bartering web.

One can learn from functioning junkies. They will decide upon trading, say a computer game, for cash. What’s to be learned from them is that they have a circle or web of friends, close and even just-say-hello-to friends. This is their market, a closed market, where they can make their rounds. They’re always looking to add others to their personal marketing web. Making their rounds, they also gather leads on what items interest their friends. It works!

Read more…

Ah, the corporate life.

Okay, they, and I mean they, have fired you because they had to do that in order for the company to weather these bad times and more bad times next year, perhaps. Did the boss even allow you to clean out your desk or locker of your personal items — a trust issue — or did he or she have the company security cops escort you right out the back door? Whatever; Never mind: You lost your job — pink slip, e-mail pink slip, or a verbal: “Get out here!”

Read more…

Escape to the woods, maybe?

As a kid, my father and I took a vacation every summer which we could afford … to my father’s favorite destination: Porchview. Porchview was sitting on our front porch and watching the cars go by, and also included, was doing maintenance work on our house. I remember every summer I painted the concrete floor of the front porch and the wooden side porch floor either gray or deep red. And I held the bottom of the ladder for my father who was up four stories painting the wooden siding of our house. I didn’t have any vacations other than Porchview until many years later.

Read more…

We have answers!

The Holidays are over. All that food and drink. All that candy and cake. You fear the bathroom scale. You even throw a towel over it to hide this device of sheer terror. You know, though, you must get a reading off the scale. You do the pinch-flab test, but you need more than that. You need a weight reading. Do you think you could have your other half or roommate or friend get on the scale and you take their weight reading as yours. A psychic weight, so to speak. Hell no!

Read more…

Snipped from Cectic.com.

Now, I thought this was pretty clever. Not exactly the best analogy, but pretty comical nonetheless. Here is a common father using the same abstinence only ideology that has been such a success thus far with our nation’s children for gun safety.

Read more…

Cans I help yuoz?
AP Photo

Now, I received this by email, so I don’t know if this is actually true, or who the originator of this story is, but knowing the state of our education system, I don’t doubt it to be true. Anyways, this is how the email went:

Wal-Mart Employee: “Hello ‘dis Walmarts, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.”

Read more…