Do you find yourself struggling to pay rent? Have you lost your job to India? Well, Blog4Brains.com will prepare you for the worst to come. We’ve got your back!

Guidelines

1) Dress as best as you can, be clean, look decent, be courteous, all so you’ll convey that you’re not on drugs — no one wants to be an enabler.

2) Try to be the first among any competition in asking strangers to buy you coffee or breakfast (“I was here first! I haven’t eaten for two days.”)

3) Don’t you ever feel ashamed, embarrassed, whatever, because you’re out on the sidewalk panhandling. It’s not your fault; it’s all Wallstreet’s fault.

Still, you may question yourself. How did it happen that you’re begging for a few coins? Stop. Don’t you ponder how or why. In today’s uncertain world, the economy sucks. Like so many others, you may have been forced out into the streets because your house is gone or you don’t have the rent money and/or you’re hungry … and all you need right at this moment is a cup of coffee, maybe a doughnut, too.

Every spare-some-change reason is good for at least a quarter, but what you’ll soon learn in this posting is that the wacky and goofy pitches get better results, especially when they make the mark smile. The Mark? Maybe I should say, “Make the Client smile.” You will further learn that there’s far more and better results this way — dollar bills instead of coins — than someone who uses a reasonable, logical, and compelling story. Often, guilt is involved for clients who hear the latter, reasonable pleas. Making clients feel guilty won’t cut it at all because people run from guilt. Have faith. The more outrageous your reasons for begging, the better are the odds that you’ll score and score more money at the day’s end.

Examples of bad reasons: The most common but poorer appeals are “Today’s my birthday.” and “I need a dollar and fifty cents for bus fare to get home.”

Hey, now, down-and-out pauper, Blog4Brains.com is going to provide you with much wilder, far-out reasons than those two lame why-I-need-money excuses. Let’s learn to be absurd, really absurd! As soon as possible, please try out these 8 Money-Begging Reasons:

8) I have a chance, just one chance to get off the streets with your help. I need a dollar to buy a megabucks lottery ticket.

7) Can you spare forty-four cents for a first-class postage stamp? I want to write my mother a letter to borrow $20.

6) My pacemaker is in the pawn shop, and I might die soon if I don’t redeem it. All I need is five dollars.

5) This is my little brother, Billy. I’ll leave Billy with you as collateral if you lend me two dollars. I can pay you back in three weeks.

4) I can get a job as a human guinea pig at Western Labs in their alcoholism study, but I need two dollars for a beer so I can qualify.

3) I need four dollars to buy a city map to find the best places with public restrooms. I gotta go and go right now!

2) Hey, Mister, I need some money to buy batteries for my DVD player so I can stand out here on the sidewalk longer.

1) Any spare change? This is a good location to solicit from. I rented it from Joey and I owe Joey today’s pavement rent.

A tip: Never laugh or ridicule your clients. It isn’t wise to be a smart-aleck. If you’re refused money, don’t say, “Well, have a nice day anyway.” Think about that. Don’t you think that won’t kill off future donations? The next time you accost that very same person, he or she will remember you as the guilt-giver. And thus, you killed off any free money forever from them.

And if, with luck, it goes down the opposite way, then, the same fellow might be making their daily trek past you and give. Give day after day. This kind of person starts to look for you and donates money like clockwork. And something else has happened — all to your benefit. You are now recognized as his or her personal panhandler — their “adopted human.” Your client will reach for his wallet or her purse once you’re in sight. Cool. And in time they’ll even drop off coffee, sodas, pastry, and sandwiches for you. I shat you not! Really!

May I repeat myself? Always give clients a bizarre reason for why you need the money. Furthermore, use your imagination to dream up additional wacky reasons. Find the one good reason that works for you. Just the fact that you’re living in dire straits isn’t enough of a reason.

You’ll discover that this practice is on the money when you see your clients smile at your most off-the-wall pitches for contributions. Most passersby have heard all the jaded reasons for wanting money which makes it easy for you to snag them. So, snag them with a crazy come-on.

And, in order to prop up your confidence, always keep the Blog4Brains 8 best tall-tales in mind in case you’re stuck for something far-fetched. Good luck!

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