10) “While waiting to be interviewed, Your Honor, I took a 10 to 1 bet that this defendant would be found ‘not guilty.’ ”

9) “Yes, Your Honor, I’ve served on a jury before, in fact, 27 times. After I was laid-off, I became a professional juror for the pay we’re allotted for days served.”

8) “Certainly, I can serve on a jury providing the court permits me to bring my youngest, so I can breast-feed her during the trial.”

7) “There’s no reason why I can’t serve on a jury, Your Honor, but I’ll need another chair beside me for Harvey, my imaginary rabbit.”

6) “I understand the court system is undergoing restructuring with anticipated layoffs with the shutdown of some courtrooms. And so, Your Honor, I volunteer to withdrawal from jury duty to free up another position in the court system.”

5) “I did not read, listen to any news, or watch anything on television about the crime or the accused, Your Honor. But, I HAVE to be able to blog, tweet and text during this trial. Is that okay?”

4) “Sorry, but because of overcrowded prisons, I would vote ‘Not Guilty’ in order to cut down the upkeep costs by one less person.”

3) “Can I wear my white hood for anonymity while attending?”

2) “Your Honor, I am an anarchist, so whatever the accused as done, I believe it was justified. I mean, F*CKIN’ A! Who wouldn’t with such social inequality, religious conservatism and Sarah Palin in this country!?”

1) “Do you drug test for this position?”

Next will be the “Reasons to Serve on a Jury,” and with detailed information about jury duty. The best source I have found is the “NYJuror.gov Welcome to the Juror Information Web Site,” which although written for people who live in New York State, can also apply to your state of residency. If you have an issue of concern in that something may be different in your area, please contact your local, or county, or state Commissioner of Jurors.

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