I can’t take it anymore!

White House Press Secretaries speak for the president to the press corps and often are overheard by the media for the nation. One thing never revealed are the President’s personal secrets. At times when the President’s term is over and loyalty is no longer an issue, the former press agent may write a tells-all book. Even so, there are certain things that are proper and improper to discuss.

Sometimes a press secretary’s book isn’t published until years after his death as well as after the death of the President he served. But some press agents ignore that extreme kind of loyalty. It depends on the amount of his publisher’s advance.

B4b has obtained an advance copy of the book about President Bush’s term in office as written by his press secretary to be released on that same day when the president’s term ends. In this case, It is a question of royalties, not loyalty. And even the improper things are told as well.

Rather than review the entire book, we have taken the top ten of President Bush’s personal secrets and are listing them as follows in spite of any embarrassment to the President:

#10 — He has a personal poison food taster present whenever Vice President Dick Chenny is invited to dinner at the white House.

#9 — He has his meat on his plate at dinner cut for him by the First Lady.

#8 — He picks snot from his nose and eats it even when others are in the room.

#7 — He goes to sleep cuddling a GI-Joe doll.

#6 — He watches porno on the anti-ballistic-visual-screen Armed Forces Warnings Network.

#5 — He saves his finger nail and toe nail clippings for posterity.

#4 — He has a secret service agent with the same size feet break in all his new shoes.

#3 — He listens to old-time radio shows of Superman and Batman when riding in his motorcades to important functions.

#2 — When he thinks no one is looking, he kisses his mirror image whenever he straightens his tie.

#1 — He keeps in his bedroom a Bush globe of the world with his name written across every country.

-30-