Are you crying?!

The traditional boot camps for kids are being outlawed and disbanded due to a few reckless trainers who kicked a couple of kids to death. No more boot camps. However, there is a window of opportunity open for a new profession, a new career. The At-Home Boot Camp DI (Discipline Instructor). The visiting DI.

For the parents:

If there’s no longer a boot camp where you can send your kid, then, by Gawk, bring the boot camp to your kid’s home.

It works somewhat like the home-visit, once-a-week dog trainer for your newly-acquired, untrained dog that you yourself can’t handle.

The at-home Discipline Instructor type comes once a week, and you and he/she works with your kid to learn a few things. Like clean up your room.

The first visit: The DI arrives and sends you off shopping and while you are gone for an hour, the DI takes your kid into the garage or basement and beats the shit out him for you. This is a make-or-break moment. The DI must prove to the kid who is stronger, who is boss and that the DI will stand in for Mom or Dad anytime to prove the kid is no longer the boss.

The first time the DI helps your kid clean their room, everything, everything, everything is removed from the room and packed into garbage bags, the furniture and bed stored somewhere else in the house/apartment or placed into and locked up in outside pay-for storage.

Everything works on the day-before principle. If the kid rated an “A” for yesterday, then he might request his bed back today.

As for food and drink: Padlock a chain around the refrigerator door. You feed the kid when your kid’s been good the day before. Otherwise….

If your kid runs away, the DI will find him and bring him back. They will come home the very long way. You may need to have band aids ready. Note: You, yourself must never strike or verbally abuse your kid. You call on the DI and he takes care of that for you.

Carrot or stick. You use the DI as the stick to train him. You use the kid’s possessions restored bit by bit to reward him his carrot for the day.

The DI is not a baby-sitter. At the DI’s (Discipline Instructor) rates, you can’t afford such a day-to-day baby-sitter. DI’s can’t live in; they have other clients. They may call upon your kid once, preferably twice a week. And during emergencies at special, additional rates. Neither is the DI a big brother or a big sister (in that organization’s sense of the word). But DI’s are bigger, all right.

How many harsh at-home lessons will it take to turn your kid around? It depends. A DI can tell when a kid is scamming them, so another month might be necessary. Usually, it takes 60 days to 90 days. It is expensive for this one-upon-one course of learning discipline.

Later in the course, the DI will teach you how to do joint-chores, then you and your kid practice something together, like washing the family car every day, all week. On the next visit, the DI checks you and your kid out and makes suggestions for improvement in washing the family car. And later, preview the next lesson. Please, don’t you do the entire course yourself, this is a professional’s job. You can’t be DI and loving parent at the same time. It will destroy the new matrix. Hiring a DI, is going to cost you a bundle. You do love the kid, don’t you?

Blog4Brains nor anyone here at b4b is liable for any mishaps. Pick your DI by word of mouth, if possible, with care. May you and your kid have peace. When you lock up your kid overnight in his or her bare-bones bedroom, make sure you have installed a fire alarm outside the door and have an extra key just outside the door as well. Take care.

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