Top Ten Signs You Had too Much to Drink
Being that we have had some pretty serious, depressing political rants on here lately, I thought I would lighten it up a little bit. So I decided to post some very important public safety information regarding knowing when you have had too much to drink.
I know we have all been there but often times, we wait until it’s too late and then we end up not even knowing how we got home.
So, the next time you pick up that bottle of beer or dry martini, maybe you’ll remember this list. So, here they are…
10. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
9. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
8. Your job is interfering with your drinking.
7. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
5. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
4. You fall off the floor.
3. Mosquitoes catch a buzz from you.
2. Every night you’re beginning to find your roommate’s cat more and more attractive.
1. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed…hmmmm
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10 1 -Afternoon, after too many few beers. You made it home okay from the bar. Take a nap. Wake up at 7 –Oh no!– and rush off to work. On the bus you wonder why the day’s getting darker instead of lighter. Oh wow! You didn’t sleep thru the night until morning as you thought. This is the same day!
10 1 is being too wasted to tell time, A.M./P.M.
10-2 When you pay the bar tab for yourself and for all the new friends you met in the bar that night.
10 3 You wake up in the morning in the wrong bed in the wrong house at the wrong time with the wrong woman.
10 plus 4 — Dark Barcardi Rum and Coke. You awake in the late afternoon and discover that this month’s supply of Coke Cola™ is gone and you really know where it’s gone! Not a drop of Coke for a single wake-up drink of Rum and Coke. Got Coke?
10 plus 5 — When you awake with a skull that seems to be split in half and you go for the alka-seltzer® tablets in the new supersized box and find it empty and then you remember why — something you don’t believe you did but certainly did do! You drank so many that you ran out of bubbly soda and, yes, mixed it with alka-seltzer® that fizzed. You mixed up 36 effervescent tablets, lemon lime flavor. You jerk! The right side of your brain is that of a twelve-year-old and the left side is still fizzing. And what about the stomach? Help!
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10 plus 6 — You leave the bar, go to your car in the parking lot, climb into the trunk and fall asleep.
10 plus 7 — You wake up the next morning to find out you’re married — What? — to the woman next to you in your bed.