All of Life… Explained!
I normally don’t pass on quirky information that I come across but this is unique. For all of us out there looking for an explanation of life, here’s your chance to finally understand it. Enjoy…
On the first day God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life.. For this I’ll give you twenty years.”
But man said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? That makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.”
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
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Hey God — On those years you gave man out of the back accounts; where’s the interest?
I don’t want to be greedy, God, and after giving it some thought, shouldn’t it be compound interest on those owed years?
This is hilarious, thank you Unum.
You’re welcome Kilgore. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
And, Stan, compounded interest sounds like the way to go.
This is also a good example of why I’ve always liked the philosophy of.. I think it was The Who, “I hope I die before I get old.” Those last years just don’t look like fun at all. I always figured hopping out of a plane when I’m 75 and deciding on the way down wither or not to pull the chute, extreme euthanasia! Actually I always figured I’d die while driving way way to fast and hitting a tree in a car with no safety features, not really a goal but its a good possibility. Although I would feel bad about the car.
What keeps me going, Kilgore, is you keep getting surprised at what happens next as you continue to hack living. When I was a teenager I rolled 5 cars — I should be dead 5 times over and I’m glad to be around. By the way, I did hit a tree once. There’s something about trees called roots. They don’t give, are like a wall. Hit a telephone pole and there’s a chance it’ll snap in half. Trees don’t. It also helps to be drunk.